It’s time to put Masterchef out to pasture. I’m watching an average show in about 10 minutes using Sky+. The formula isn’t working any more. No tension, no excitement, the same stupid catchphrases. Cooking doesn’t get any harder than this. Yeah, it does.

Scallops. If I see one more bleedin scallop on that show, I’ll explode. Fabio Viviani, in the far superior US show Top Chef, described the same problem perfectly back in January 2009:

And to prove the point yesterday, whilst bent over double in pain from a tummy bug, I lashed this together in 5 minutes, and I’m not even a good cook!

So Greg and John. Time to re-invent Top Chef again or give it up. I don’t know what the viewing figures are like but the ways it’s going, the contestants will be shown working in a chipper in the next season.