Des  on September 12, 2007

I love the phrase “Demis Roussos Katan territory” – it conjures up a gloriously negative image.At least now I’m spared having to deciede whether or not to watch it. I’ve found her to be annoying and this luscious lasciviousness that she traded on wasn’t really appropriate to a cooking programme (unless it’son one the the high 900 channels on Sky).

conor  on September 12, 2007

I felt so sorry for her son having to act out a painful scene with her in the back of a taxi. I’m sure he’ll get the crap kicked out of him in school for that.

Deborah  on September 12, 2007

I’ve only the one Nigella book – Feast – and it’s a relatively recent acquisition. I am already planning Thanksgiving (the in-laws are coming here and expect a full American dinner) and referred to the Xmas/Thanksgiving chapter the other day and I couldn’t help but find it repulsive. Fake, as you said, seems an adequate word. Flavours that didn’t mesh… like she was really reaching for new ideas. The few recipes I have tried were nothing spectacular either. Won’t be buying anymore, although I understand the earlier ones are better.

Great review – will avoid the show!

Robert Machin  on September 13, 2007

It’s tragic really. She’s a really good writer – her journalism used to be excellent, and How To Eat is one of the great, great cookbooks, supplanting Delia’s Cookery Course in our house after 20 years as the standard reference/recipe book – but TV is killing her. If anything, the more she does, the phonier she gets (can’t she give it a rest with all that full-fat, finger-licking crap) and the books that spin off from the TV shows are generally thin affairs (unlike dear Nigella).

I foresee her doing the sensible thing one day and withdrawing from TV altogether. I really hope she does.

Fame, as they say, is a mask that eats the face…

conor  on September 13, 2007

What’s worse is that she doesn’t need to do this. She could be writing great small distribution books giving her enormous credibility. Instead she seems to want to turn into some “TV personality”. What next? Her own reality TV show or Chef Idol?

Jen  on September 13, 2007

On the whole, I’ve got to say I like Nigella’s written work a great deal but I tend to avoid her tv stuff as the seductive schtick gets boring very quickly. Although your review is making me want to tune in and see just how bad it gets!. Ronnie Ancona did a cracking impression on Alistair McGowan’s show.

But I’d recommend How to Eat and Domestic Goddess – they’re good books with some very cook-able recipes. I haven’t made a lot from Feast but I’ll go back and look at it with a fresh eye after reading Deborah’s comment. Funnily enough, it’s the publications that Nigella has put out to accompany her tv shows (Nigella Bites, Forever Summer) that I’ve found the least appealing.

About the tv show side of things… She tried a ‘morning chat show’ format last year in the UK and it absolutely bombed. That lady is surely getting some bad advice from someone.

Gordon  on September 17, 2007

Well I don’t know what all the fuss is about. I think that she’s absolutely great.
I watched her programme the other night and got some fantastic tips on making organic wholemeal bread. And I nearly tore my cock off in the process.

Des  on September 17, 2007

I got a new video nano recently so I’m exploring the world of video podcasts (must justify the expenditure). I downloaded a Nigella Express one from the UK Times and watching it I must say that she looks more like her father every day…..

The recipe was for deep fried calamari which was supposedly ideal for when a girlfriend called round and you’d already had your dinner.

conor  on September 17, 2007

Steady, steady

elaine  on September 19, 2007

hi, sadly i forgot to record last weeks nigella express edition.
people at work were talking about her squeezing a lemon , very
erotically and saying , whilst squeezing, that she likes a good ….
something or other!!! does anyone know what she said? i think she is a naughty little
tinker and yes she is putting on the old pounds. I wonder how much is true about
this lifestyle she seems to protray of taking out clothes from the washing machine etc? i
I think frankly not. any comments please on what that word was?
hah
elaine

Marti  on September 27, 2007

I once heard Nigella say – she was taking a break from TV as she feared she would become a parody of herself!!!!!

She said it ……….

Agree with other contributors – wonderful writer – but he last 2 series have been crigingly embarrasing.

I wish clever camera work could ‘blur out’ my hips like they do Nigella’s!!

Shame.

Felicia C. Sullivan » Blog Archive » nigella: oh no you didn’t!  on October 7, 2007

[...] new show, Nigella Express, and frankly, I’m concerned. I tried to dodge the scathing reviews and snarkiness flowing in from the U.K. Nigella doesn’t show away from full-fat foods (we [...]

Beth Golden  on October 9, 2007

Sounds to me like there are a lot of jealous blogger’s on this site !
I’d love to know what you blogger’s have contributed to the foodie world of late.
Nigella is a brilliant writer and lover of good food.
TV is shmaltzy duh !
So get over yourselves and do something productive with your lives instead of spewing out this bitter crap.
I guess here in Canada we appreciate passion and food without judgement.
We love you Nigella !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

elaine  on October 9, 2007

no , why are we jealous, why should we get over ourselves? we are making observations, i wouldnt want to be her anyway.
who said she wasnt a brilliant writer? i contribute a lot to the foodie world, my own foodie world. What we dont like is the BBC doing their usual false interpretation and trying to fool us. We are not stupid, we know she doesnt use public transport, or even do her own washing, why try and pretend.

Marti  on October 9, 2007

Well done Elaine. My sentiments exactly. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I am laughing hysterically at the sweeping statement – ‘here in Canada we appreciate passion and food without judgement’. Get real. Having lived in Canada myself that is a BIG joke. Did you see last nights episode. Criiiiinge!!!!!

Vanezz  on October 9, 2007

Well said Elaine and Marti.

conor  on October 9, 2007

A little bit of schmaltz would be about the only real thing in that program.

I’m now starting to wonder if they are even her real kids. Surely forcing them to pretend it’s Christmas in July is the modern day equivalent of sending them out cleaning chimneys?

Vanezz  on October 9, 2007

Everything looks so fake – it is so hard to believe BBC put this one together. I mean, last nights episode – drinking a smoothy from a flask in the middle of a bus Q. She then hailed the bus – while everybody in the Q stared straight ahead – like robots. As for inviting people over to brunch at 10am on Saturday. If she had to clean a house, do laundry, weekly shopping, take the kids to football practice, grinds, ballet classes etc. etc. – having a gang over would be the last thing on your mind!! Those poor kids who were on a ’sleep over’ – they were dying with embarrassment. I felt sorry for them. I don’t mean to be picky – it is only TV after all but this programme and the new book are being sold for ordinary people with busy lives. Nigelle ain’t ordinary – we all know that – but why on earth do you try to fake it. Another problem is – she is not an ‘express’ person – I have some of her original books and the list of ingredients and method in one curry and one choc cake alone is almost as long and complicated as the whole of ‘Express’.

I just don’t know how Nigella agreed to air this dribble.

Uncle G  on October 11, 2007

This show is seems to be an exercise in watching someone with a disgusting amount of money and time on their hands get fatter and fatter and fatter. What on earth do the BBC think they are doing putting this vaccuous guff on? Watching this woman prepare some fairly mediocre meals and gorge herself on them like some bacchanalian whore whilst pretending to go about her daily business of whatever that is that she does with her time that isn’t eating and preparing for the next feed is about as rewarding as watching sh/t dry.

Robert Machin  on October 11, 2007

Crikey, all getting a bit heated.

Seems to be a general consensus that the show is rubbish – maybe there’s just no appetite for high comedy at that time in the evening. I got the book though (it was half price already in our office Book Club thing – how does that work when the show is still on?) and there’s some decent recipes and ideas in there. Nothing like as good as her benchmark work ‘How to Eat’ and ‘Dom Godd’ (which I still maintain combine great writing and some really good recipes) but as inspiration for those weeks when you seem to be in a rut, devoid of imagination, decent value for a tenner. Look for heavy discounts, or the paperback. Or print the interesting ones direct from the BBC site – they’re all up there.
Having said that, made the marshmallow chocolate mousse with m’darling daughter and it’s more or less completely disgusting. She does have a bit of a yen for those American-style trash recipes.

(ham baked in coca cola is a winner though!)

Sandra  on October 11, 2007

I was wondering was I a complete and utter synic – having watched a few snippets here and there over the past few weeks. She should have quite while she was ahead (ie after Feast). Agree with you all (except the person ranting about passion in Canada – who seems to have got the wrong end of the stick completely).

You should check out the ‘party faithfuls’ comments on Nigelle.com. Easy to see why this woman can get away with such sh**.

Denny  on October 16, 2007

It’s like a car crash – you can’t help but turn the TV on along with all the other rubber neckers to see this god awful excuse of a TV program. Not only one of the worst ‘food’ programs, but one of the worst programs to have been screened on the BBC for a long, long time. Whoever comissioned, wrote, produced and filmed this must have a very poor opinion of the intelligence and appetites of BBC2 audiences.

As a spoof – it nearly works. Last night’s recipe mini-drama about some mate of hers coming over to be comforted was hilarious. And to have the front to put some poor actress on the sofa with fake tears was so gut-wrenchingly bad it was really quite funny. If you liked it, I’d also recommend The Sun’s Dear Deidre Video Casebook.

Lawson’s screen persona is probably the most insulting thing about this program. The perma-grin is as fake as her teeth, her insistance that she has a tough day and that work is a killer, and the kids are a handful is just bizarre. Last night the ironing was a joy – has she ever, in her life, ironed anything? Her idea of hard graft is doing an article on her PC in the Kitchen – amazing. And the old ‘this is my favourite room in the house…” It’s not a house – it’s a studio, so why do you have to keep trying to persuade us it’s a house?? It’s a performance of ultimate self-loving smugness. Shout it loud – ‘Look at my life you losers’!!

There is only one more thing that I would like to see her eat before she disappears off the tv and that is one final wafer thin mint.

conor  on October 16, 2007

I haven’t been able to watch another episode after the first. Check out Mof Gimmer’s brilliant review on TV Scoop. The last line is genius:

http://www.tvscoop.tv/2007/10/tv_review_nigel_6.html

Robert Machin  on October 16, 2007

It just gets worse. Nobody would care that the kitchen was set up in a studio – pretty normal I would think – if she didn’t go to such ludicrous lengths to try to persuade us otherwise. To take one other example – all that padding about in her silken peignoir (with fair bit of heavy duty support beneath, I’m guessing) is presumably being filmed (take after take) at three o’clock in the afternoon or something… And surrounding the whole show – which would otherwise be a fairly acceptable rundown of fast eating ideas – with this dense layer of sh*te… that whole endless, knuckle-chewing shtick last night with the weeping friend… what sort of ninny was she supposed to be anyway that her tiny tears could be wiped away with fwend-wendy Nigella’s chocolate cookies? Was she supposed to be six? Emotionally retarded in some way? Just awful…

conor  on October 16, 2007

But but but. If you keep watching it, her viewing figures stay up and it convinces them to make another one. Just say no!

Sandra  on October 18, 2007

Lighten up, everybody! I really do think this is very tongue-in-cheek and not to be taken so seriously. I’m sure there are more outrageous programmes about which you can all to get your knickers in a twist!

conor  on October 18, 2007

I gues people are just imagining what decent food programme could have been made with the money instead of Celebrity Big Sister.

Sandra  on October 18, 2007

Sandra here – I guess it is time to leave this blog when somebody else is using your name and leaving contradictory comments.
I did not leave comment of 18/10/07. Good luck everybody.

S

conor  on October 18, 2007

Different Sandra, different country. I don’t think she is pretending to be you. Plenty of Conors making comments on blogs too.

Michelle  on October 18, 2007

I read with amusement and irritation the ‘bitching’ about the Nigella Lawson Express programme. I enjoy it and have used some of her recipes.

At the end of the day, she doesn’t claim to be a chef…she may live in a fancy house in London and not really do her own washing but like many of us – likes to take shortcuts (i.e. juice in a bottle).

If you don’t agree with her, don’t like her style or her recipes, why are you watching it? It’s like saying I hate Eastenders but I still watch it every time, just so I can slag it off. THATS WHAT THE OFF BUTTON THE TV IS FOR!

Robert Machin  on October 18, 2007

Not watch it Michelle ? That’s crazy talk.

If it was complete garbage (I give you ‘Two Hairy Bikers’) we wouldn’t. If she was completely loathsome (I give you Gary Rhodes, or Nick Nairn on a bad day) we wouldn’t.

Because there’s a lot about Nige that’s good – the early books, a lot of her writing, we do – we hang in there, watching through our fingers, appalled, hoping against hope that she pulls out of a dive that must by now surely have reached terminal velocity, shouting whatever constructive advice we can muster. In other words – it’s because we care.

To put it another way, we’re not laughing with her – we’re laughing at her.

(did I get that right?)

elaine  on October 19, 2007

sandra (Canada) i think you are being paranoid about being cloned now!
Sandra… you are not the only Sandra in the world ….

Sandra  on October 19, 2007

Thank you, Conor. I’m glad to see someone has the sense to realise that there is more than one person in the world called Sandra. Anyway, I can spell ‘cynic’!

elaine  on October 19, 2007

i think we flogged this now, nothing else to say about Nigella now, what can we get off our chests next? any ideas?

conor  on October 19, 2007

I’ll be reviewing Heston Blumenthal’s new series over the weekend. I love the man but that was one horrible looking chicken tikka masala.

Hopefully that’ll get some emotions heated up!

Robert Machin  on October 19, 2007

I look forward to your review of Heston’s peculiar show, but I think ‘Nigella Express’ still has miles in the tank… who knows what she’ll surprise and delight us with next week…

Reading Tamsin Day-Lewis’s Kitchen Bible at the moment – very like early Nigella. Also reading Laurie Colvin’s ‘More Home Cooking’ – maybe my favourite ever food writer.

conor  on October 19, 2007

I love Tamsin on TV. Earthy! Don’t have any of her books. Must check them out.

Caroline@Bibliocook  on October 22, 2007

Hee hee! Looks like you’ve stirred up a hornet’s nest, Conor! Never watch Nigella on TV but I love How to Eat and pick and mix from the rest of her books. I’m a big fan of her chocolate cakes in Domestic Goddess and I’ve used several of the Feast recipes, particularly when cooking for crowds. Thanks for the nice mention for my Chickpea and Chorizo recipe, Conor. It’s one of those failsafe ones, even useful for vegans if you leave the chorizo out, although especially good if made with some of that fabulous Gubbeen chorizo.

Melanie  on October 23, 2007

Stumbled in here by accident. Have to laugh at this site and the silliness earlier about 2 people with the same name. Come to think of it, I have never come across a blog site that allows 2 people have the same user name. Dont’ be so quick to criticise Sandra 1 or was it 2.
Just checked – I can change my name to anything I like when signing in my comments. This can lead to all sorts of confusion and silly behaviour all round.

Very confused…….

conor  on October 23, 2007

Oh dear “Melanie” – you used the same email address as your “Sandra (1)” comments.

The box says “Name” not “Username”.

I do all commenting on blogs as Conor or using my full name. Sometimes, other Conors do too and we actually manage to work it out, just like in the real world.

If you want to avoid any confusion with people with the “same” name as you, try ZingZong24 from now on or MelanieSandra.

Robert Machin  on October 23, 2007

Hey – I’m Sandra!

Feels pretty good actually.

Nothing to say about last night’s show. In fact I remember nothing of it whatsoever. It has clearly lost its power to shock. The subject may indeed be exhausted.

Watched Blumenthal tonight, taking three months to make a hamburger. Very dull.

Des  on October 23, 2007

I watched it again last night and to me part of the problem is the camra work and her body language.

The camera seems to jerk too much, she moves around too much – head jerks, shoulders move strangely and she talks too much.

I like the fact that she devoted time to washing her hands after mauling the chicken – seems to be rare these days…

Des (not to be confused with Sandra..)

Robert Machin  on October 24, 2007

Yes, she doesn’t look at all comfortable. In fact, she looks less comfortable as the years go by, which gives one hope. I’m sure all that phony play-acting with friends and family doesn’t help. Nor does trying to keep her remarkable beam-end out of shot (gliding into the kitchen these days, she looks like something in full sail).

The phoniness is what really sinks it, though I’m convinced. Contrast and compare Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall who does this really well, because what you are seeing – mates, neighbours, markets – genuinely appears to be a slice of his life, whereas with Nige, it never does.

The bits that have us running for cover in our sitting room are when she periodically does that manic Bride of Frankenstein leer to camera. Really scary. There’s a slot in Dr Who waiting, surely…

I’m trying to remember if she made anything you’d actually want to eat on Monday, but all that keeps coming to mind is some horrible ice-cream and peanuts based gloop… but then I guess food isn’t the point with this show. Not sure what is though…

conor  on October 24, 2007

This stuff is gold – have any of you considered doing reviews on blogs/Twitter/Jaiku so that they get picked up by LouderVoice?

We’ll be adding direct SMS of mini-reviews in the next week or so and support for several more platforms in the coming weeks.

elaine  on October 26, 2007

no no

elaine  on October 30, 2007

hi folks, its all gone a bit quiet in here , are you fed up with Nigella talk? watched her last night. Her marvelous larder is certainly well stocked , the prodution team do a good job of getting ingredients together in the right place.

Robert Machin  on October 30, 2007

‘Her larder is certainly well stocked’ – never truer words spoken.

I’m waiting for the first food-poisoning incident – after last week’s distinctly underdone chicken (unless they like their juices pink in Chelsea), I’d have been letting someone else have first go at last night’s monkfish ceviche thing. I’m no expert, but does 8 minutes sound right to other viewers? It looked pretty raw to me… pretty unappealing too…

The only bit that really triggered my gag reflex was Nigella ‘rolling out of bed’ prior to heading down to the kitchen to get into the mescal. Oh and the ‘adoration of Nigella’ dinner at the end..

Having said all that, there is inspiration to be had. We all enjoyed the last ten minutes with Dorittos and melted cheese in our house…

kate  on November 3, 2007

God you guys are really tough on a person, who has made their name and won many fans doing exactly She is still doing. Everyone knowS that seasonal editorials and TV episodes are always filmed out of season. Have we all not had fat days or years, Nigella’s honesty over body image was why a generation of women and men embraced her. Leave her kids out of this, I’m sure they love their Mum. Oh and lastly, if she was cooking with 100% gourmet ingredients you would blast her for being pretentious. I wasn’t aware this blog was called the HAND’S UP WHO’S BITTER?

Robert Machin  on November 3, 2007

Well, she didn’t win her many fans (which include me, for the most part – I was a fan from before she was primarily associated with food and was writing on politics and current affairs for the UK broadsheets) through doing exactly what she now does, hence what may seem a somewhat aggressive backlash. She used to play it pretty straight, without all the grotesque affectations and phoniness, all the moue-ing and suggestive spoonlicking and all that business… she’s actually a pretty intelligent woman so all that crap where triple choc cookies with a side helping of ice-cream and chips are the answer to all of a lady’s problems is a bit hard to swallow (not being humourless about this I hope, but when she sets it all up dramatically and makes it the centrepiece of the show, she does rather invite it). Likewise the body image. Nobody minds her being a big old lot (au contraire) but if she will vamp up the femme fatale angle she does rather invite comment accordingly. Live by the sword, etc. etc.
As for leaving her kids out of it – if only she would. Poor little blighters.

kate  on November 3, 2007

Robert are you having a few regrets for being the owner of such a hard and blackened heart. That a lot of reticent justification.

conor  on November 4, 2007

Kate, last time I checked, Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall filmed Winter in Winter and Summer in Summer and not a fake acted scene with his kids to be seen anywhere.

I think there is a deeply important authentic programme still to be made by someone about cooking fast, inexpensive healthy meals for people on tight time and money budgets. But it won’t be Nigella who makes it.

I guess if you’re ok with Nigella’s Fakespress and so are enough other people then they’ll keep making this stuff and she can be the Benny Hill of the cooking world.

Robert  on November 4, 2007

Kate, that’s cruel! I only say such things because I care.

Most of the food in the show has been OK I think. I’ve even tried a couple and found them fine. Bit over the top with the fast ingredients for sure, but store-cupboard recipes are always welcome. And I’m sure Waitrose are grateful for all the generous publicity (when did product placement become so explicit on the BBC?)… It’s the way that she does it that maddens me… and given the investment that I’ve put into her earlier, far superior work, I feel entitled to criticise. To put it another way, it ain’t what she does…

But each to their own.

elaine  on November 4, 2007

hi, there me again, elaine… im not going to pretend i wrote the following, i read it today in the Sunday Times …
Nigella Bites ””’ and swallows – put the doughnut down and step away. What the flick has happened to Nigella Lawson? The poor woman has ballooned in her latest TV programme. Nigella Express,she promises food on the hoof, but the way she scoffs, its more of a stampede. Carb crammed criossants at the bus stop, fat fuelled soups in the back of a taxi 0 Lawsons grab a kebab approach to nutrition will seal your fate faster than you can say “blocked artery”. Where are those super pert knockers, that cheeky clinched waist and hair to sell a kidney for? Gone the way of cashmere clad potato with a snacking disorder, thats where. Its like an lonesco inspired plot, where woman becomes fridge and a fridge becomes woman – as soon as our Nigella opens her mouth, a light goes out.

conor  on November 7, 2007

Sorry for delay in your comment appearing Elaine, you got stuck in the moderation queue for some reason.

elaine  on November 8, 2007

connor… im pretty moderate lol

conor  on November 12, 2007

Wordpress really doesn’t like you That comment got stuck in the queue too!

couper smith  on November 18, 2007

you know – what’s wrong with you people. Her show is fine, has good tips, great eye candy in that you get lost of colore and flirtation. Her weight isn’t that bad at all – in fact, she is a beautiful curvacious women. She looks healthy and it is an enteraining show with some good tips at the end of the day. There are lots and lots of chefs on the food network that cook with full fat and mostly the Men are over weight so why are picking on her. I’m guessing the ratings are great and we’ll let the numbers speak for themselves.

Robert  on November 28, 2007

Martha Stewart looks great from a distance too.

Anyway, it’s not all about Nigella. Check this out: http://tinyurl.com/2wom6f

A most amusing site…

xjacyx  on August 2, 2008

What a damn shame! I have always adored Nigella, and yet here we are with yet another show, NIGELLA EXPRESS. It is an abomination to say the least – both to TV AND to cooking!

I still watch repeats of Nigella Bites, Forever Summer, and Nigella Feasts with great delight, because these, really did have a level of authenticity to them, as well as a decent amount of cooking. This new series NIGELLA EXPRESS, fails miserably to get my cooking juices flowing.

The scripted interactions with her friends and family, and the awkwardly fake chit-chat she makes with the camera are too much for me! I think her script must look something like this:
(*BAT EYELASHES TWICE* “I just LOVE the way the lettuce squeaks under my knife” *BAT EYELASHES, and SEXY SIDEWAYS GLANCE AT CAMERA TWO* “Just look at this GORGEOUS mayonnaise, dolloped straight out of the jar – what could be simpler?” *OBLIGATORY LICK OF THE FINGERS, SEXY LOOK AT CAMERA ONE, BAT EYELASHES TWICE*)

Whenever it’s on, I flick over to see if it has improved, and yet I am abysmally disappointed, so much so that I am often caught hurling popcorn at the TV by my husband!

I feel as though the producers of this series sat down and said “Right, we’ve had phenomenal success with these last few series, let’s watch them over and pick out all the things that worked” …. THEN they wrote it into a script, and forced Nigella, her poor kids, and ever-growing group of friends, to say the lines. It just doesn’t work, not one bit! Then add to that the incredibly SILLY food she is “cooking” in this series, and you’ve got a BOMB.

As for her physique, I don’t understand the comments about her looking fat … she’s looking pretty damn good for a 48 year old if you ask me.

I just wish she had a little more integrity when it came to producing another series … look at Rick Stein – no matter how many series he creates, they are comfortingly humble, and yet so magnificent to watch. In every series, Rick is ALWAYS himself – no excuses, no bullshit.
BRING BACK THE REAL NIGELLA NOT THE MANUFACTURED ONE THANKS!

nfjude  on August 4, 2008

What is wrong with everyone, do they have to always pick on someone that shows how to be yourself on television, why do one have to be so stuck up to have a good cooking show.
I live in canada, and I love Nigella Express and all she has written in her cookbooks I have them all, I have made and it all turned out wonderful, so people please lighten up, of course while you are talking about Nigella you are leaving someone else alone.

Robert  on August 4, 2008

Well the reasons they’re picking on her are fairly well documented above. But you allude to the biggest one when you ask why ‘they have to always pick on someone that shows how to be yourself on television’. We old Nigella admirers know that if that’s her being herself then she must have had her personality reconfigured over the last ten years or so. It’s the phoniness that’s hard to take…

xjacyx  on August 4, 2008

well said Robert … I still love Nigella, I just wish she hadn’t become a caricature of herself

bboomer1948  on September 7, 2008

Love you , Nigella !! You are a fabulously beautiful woman…….
Marry me !!

What you read here in 2008  on January 4, 2009

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