Just as I start grumping that there is nothing on the telly, a chunk of genius appears in the shape of Oz Clarke and James May with “Oz and James’ Big Wine Adventure” (Wednesdays 8pm BBC2). I used to watch Oz and Jilly for laughs back in the old Food and Drink days. They were so off the wall I don’t think I ever learned anything. James is of course Captain Slow on Top Gear and knows absolutely nothing about wine. The pair of them head off on a tour of France in a Jag XJS so Oz can teach James all about wine.
Sure it’s a standard “Odd Couple” bickering idea but it works soooo well. James is a big kid and Oz is desperately pompous so the sparks fly constantly. The scene of the two of them in disposable thongs getting into a bath of grape extract together at a Wine Spa is indelibly burned on my brain.
I’m of the James persuasion. He wants to learn enough to be able to buy good bottles of £5.99 French wine in his supermarket. Poor Oz wants to “educate” him. The word terroir hasn’t come up yet but it’s bound to at which point James will blow his whistle called the Ozillator to stop Oz being a wine bore.
James makes some wine by crushing grapes with a dirty hoe, adding sugar and yeast and leaving it in the boot of the car for a week. He then does a taste test of three wines including his own at a French Market. One poor muppet picks James’ as the best!
At Château Pichon-Longueville-Comtesse-de-Lalande I was reminded why Aussie wine with “Shiraz” on the bottle sells better. C’mon, that name’s up there with Tarquin Lim Tim Bim Fim Bim Ole Ftang Ftang Biscuit Barrel. They went into the cellars with Grand Dame Madame May-Elaine de Lencquesaing and discussed ancient wine. James was chomping at the bit “but they are just looking at it, what’s the point of that?”. Madame showed wines from 1817 and 1940. No mention of how they managed to make wine in 1940, cough, don’t mention the war, cough.
But the absolute highlight of the programme was the taste test they did at Château Pichon-Baron, in front of one of the wine industry’s biggest players, Englishman Christian Seely. They gave James three wines to get his opinion of their bouquet. The first was a young white bordeaux which should have peaches, apricots etc. James sniffed, thought, sniffed again and came up with “Dope”. If the ground could have swallowed Oz whole. Next up a £120 Grand Cru which should have smelled of blackcurrants. James interpretation of this – “Trebor Fruit Salad”. Ozes face was frozen in horror. And finally, another Red which should smell of tobacco. James does much better on this “Bonfire, BBQ sausage, Pork”. Oz looks ready to kill him, Then magically “and a hint of Virginia tobacco”. Hurrah, reputation recovered.
Very very funny TV but Oz is failing in one area that James himself mentions several times and that is in the actual education about wine. Oz is so obsessed with the culture and history he forgets simple things – like what grape is white bordeaux made from? I had to Google it as my knowledge of French wines stretches from Sancerre to Pouilly Fumé which is a distance of approximately 400 yards on the Loire I think. Ah, it’s also Sauvignon Blanc with some Semillion and other optionals. Might give that a go.
If you want a giggle and to learn a bit about wine in the process, you cannot miss this programme.
Technorati Tags: Oz+and+James+Big+Wine+Adventure, Oz+Clarke, James+May
November 23, 2006 at 3:13 pm
I wish I’d written your post, and someone else could be blamed for mine, about this. But I was interested to see May-Elaine… because her family’s story is in
a book I read a while back that gives at least some idea of the ducking and weaving the Bordelais had to do in the war.
November 23, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Was there much collaboration at that time or were there enough educated Nazi’s around who turned a blind eye?
I wonder why they skipped the Loire? Maybe they’ll get back to it at a later date. Hopefully by the end of it I’ll stop confusing Bordeaux and Burgundy. All those B’s you see.
Anyway, I enjoyed your post – the insiders view as opposed to my “does it say Marlborough on the bottle” slightly limited view.
I still haven’t made it in to you guys. I’ll come in for a big stock-up in the run up to christmas.
November 23, 2006 at 4:23 pm
There was jiggery-pokery on all sides as the mercantile motive transcended the political or ethical ones, and not too much heartfelt collaboration, especially as time went on. Plenty of relabelling of thin plonk with famous names – half the time the Germans didn’t know any better, apparently – and walling up of the good stuff in the cellars, &c. &c.
I reckon Oz’n'James’ll come back to the Loire at the end – loads of different styles and grapes, not as easily summed up and not always so sunny either!
Make sure you get a bottle of the Nelson Sauvignon if you haven’t already, if you get the time to go wine-shopping!
November 23, 2006 at 7:40 pm
I’ll be trying that Nelson for sure. Had a Kim Cameron Sauvignon at the weekend and wasn’t blown away.
November 23, 2006 at 7:44 pm
Did I say Kim Cameron? Gack. I meant Kim Crawford. I was confusing my wine producers with my Digital Identity experts from Microsoft. An easy mistake to make.
November 25, 2006 at 12:58 pm
It’s only having the internet for reference that keeps me from revealing just how thoroughly I muddle everything, all the time. Kim Cameron Sauvignon? Sounded legit. to me.
November 30, 2006 at 5:55 am
Random thought to offer to the proceedings. And apologies if this is know by y’all already. Oz Clarke is from Borris originally and is a cousin of Olivia O’Leary’s. And now back to wine…decent wine here in the States costs a bit more than Ireland/UK prices. But I’m not complaining, just saying. Anyone tried stuff from Bogle? California bunch with the usual Merlot, Cab Sav runs. Their petite Syrah is really good for the money. About $13 and always lives up to it. Don’t know if it’s in Ireland but worth a try if so.
November 30, 2006 at 8:03 am
No Way! Borris? In Ossory?
Last night James tried to match a white wine to fried spam and beans. The incredible thing is that he pretty much succeeded.
Bogle I’ve heard of or maybe it’s just the kids game I know. I never buy Californian wine for some odd reason. Maybe it’s because the few random bottles I tried over the years all seemed insipid and pricey.
November 30, 2006 at 3:04 pm
Well aren’t there two Borris’sssess? One is just Borris and then you got yer B-in Ossory. Or am I just making that up? Don’t know who James is but why oh why was he messing about with fried spam. Has a new trend started in Ireland that no-one’s told me about? I hope twas at least organic spam.
If you spend a bit of money on Cali reds you can have a very fine time. Honestly.
November 30, 2006 at 3:32 pm
I think you’re right about the Borrises.
James is one of that dreaded gang you hate; Top Gear presenters. He made the spam on the wine programme last night.
November 30, 2006 at 3:46 pm
Glad to hear the spam was safely in the UK (or were himself and Oz still motoring around France?)
Can you get on that Borris question please and clear up the matter for all of us?!
November 30, 2006 at 4:32 pm
I’m now actually rather glad I missed the programme last night… but I should say the Californian reds I tried at a recent Napa Valley tasting were not weedy, oh dear me no. But, it must be said, not cheap either.