Let's all brainstorm silently

Damn, double damn and blast. Catherine pointed out that there is now a series on satellite called “The Apprentice, Martha Stewart”.

Now that’s just not fair, two phrases in one title to draw the moth into the flame. Not only do they have a series which is guaranteed to have at least 80% nut-jobs, morons and chancers on it, but then they build it around the wicked witch of the west, the anti-Darina, beelzeebubina, Martha Magdalene Stewart.

And what utter perfection in TV it is. Martha, the woman who tells middle America how to dress, cook, eat and live is looking for a sidekick. Her current ones are a mouthy slaphead who permanently has a ridiculous unlit cigar in his mouth and a woman whose only function appears to be sitting silently looking petrified of the camera.

As it is a US programme, the contestents scrub up a little better than the scrubbers on the UK one. One of the project leaders this week clearly modelled herself on Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde. She is an event organiser who, when ideas were not forthcoming from her team, told them all to brainstorm silently.

Their attemps to create a buzz around the handy pocket sized stain remover “Tide to Go” were hilarious and it means that the swines have me hooked. I can’t wait for the week when hopefully the steroid enhanced bloke goes head to head against the Madge-inspired muscle-rippling woman.

And Martha, oh Martha. A stare on her like a medusa. No matter how hard she tries to sound nice, you know she’d knife you if you got in her way.

Catch it at random times on Discovery Home & Health.

Happy summer days.

[tags]The Apprentice Martha Stewart[/tags]

Conor O'Neill

Tech guy who likes running slowly

Bandon, Cork, Ireland http://conoroneill.com