I still watch repeats of Nigella Bites, Forever Summer, and Nigella Feasts with great delight, because these, really did have a level of authenticity to them, as well as a decent amount of cooking. This new series NIGELLA EXPRESS, fails miserably to get my cooking juices flowing.

The scripted interactions with her friends and family, and the awkwardly fake chit-chat she makes with the camera are too much for me! I think her script must look something like this:
(*BAT EYELASHES TWICE* “I just LOVE the way the lettuce squeaks under my knife” *BAT EYELASHES, and SEXY SIDEWAYS GLANCE AT CAMERA TWO* “Just look at this GORGEOUS mayonnaise, dolloped straight out of the jar – what could be simpler?” *OBLIGATORY LICK OF THE FINGERS, SEXY LOOK AT CAMERA ONE, BAT EYELASHES TWICE*)

Whenever it’s on, I flick over to see if it has improved, and yet I am abysmally disappointed, so much so that I am often caught hurling popcorn at the TV by my husband!

I feel as though the producers of this series sat down and said “Right, we’ve had phenomenal success with these last few series, let’s watch them over and pick out all the things that worked” …. THEN they wrote it into a script, and forced Nigella, her poor kids, and ever-growing group of friends, to say the lines. It just doesn’t work, not one bit! Then add to that the incredibly SILLY food she is “cooking” in this series, and you’ve got a BOMB.

As for her physique, I don’t understand the comments about her looking fat … she’s looking pretty damn good for a 48 year old if you ask me.

I just wish she had a little more integrity when it came to producing another series … look at Rick Stein – no matter how many series he creates, they are comfortingly humble, and yet so magnificent to watch. In every series, Rick is ALWAYS himself – no excuses, no bullshit.
BRING BACK THE REAL NIGELLA NOT THE MANUFACTURED ONE THANKS!

Anyway, it’s not all about Nigella. Check this out: http://tinyurl.com/2wom6f

A most amusing site…

Most of the food in the show has been OK I think. I’ve even tried a couple and found them fine. Bit over the top with the fast ingredients for sure, but store-cupboard recipes are always welcome. And I’m sure Waitrose are grateful for all the generous publicity (when did product placement become so explicit on the BBC?)… It’s the way that she does it that maddens me… and given the investment that I’ve put into her earlier, far superior work, I feel entitled to criticise. To put it another way, it ain’t what she does…

But each to their own.

I think there is a deeply important authentic programme still to be made by someone about cooking fast, inexpensive healthy meals for people on tight time and money budgets. But it won’t be Nigella who makes it.

I guess if you’re ok with Nigella’s Fakespress and so are enough other people then they’ll keep making this stuff and she can be the Benny Hill of the cooking world.

I’m waiting for the first food-poisoning incident – after last week’s distinctly underdone chicken (unless they like their juices pink in Chelsea), I’d have been letting someone else have first go at last night’s monkfish ceviche thing. I’m no expert, but does 8 minutes sound right to other viewers? It looked pretty raw to me… pretty unappealing too…

The only bit that really triggered my gag reflex was Nigella ‘rolling out of bed’ prior to heading down to the kitchen to get into the mescal. Oh and the ‘adoration of Nigella’ dinner at the end..

Having said all that, there is inspiration to be had. We all enjoyed the last ten minutes with Dorittos and melted cheese in our house…