Conor’s Bandon Blog

I hope the National Safety Council don’t mind me infringing their copyright but if publishing these pictures can save just one life then it’ll be worth it. Those lives will be saved by me not killing with my bare hands the next moron who can’t correctly negotiate the “new” mini-roundabout in Bandon.

Just because you’ve driven through that junction the same way for the past 60 years like Col. Michael Collins did before you and Gen. Tom Barry did before him, does not mean you can sail through the roundabout in your 4×4 at 60 MPH without pausing anymore.

Equally, just because the idiots in Cork County Council gave no warning of the change (or the previous junction change), it does not mean you have to have a nervous breakdown everytime you approach the new mini-roundabout and give way to everything including all cats and herons.

I admit the roundabout is a bit of a joke. Many people sail through it because they don’t notice it. They should have gone with the Birr approach and used cats eyes to mark it out. The thudda thudda should catch the notice of all but the most asleep.

But then these are the same road design experts who did the road markings for the Bandon Road R’Bout and Sarsfield Rd R’Bout. In other words, these are people who have clearly never driven a motor car. They also can have never watched anyone attempt to negotiate these roundabouts which involve three lane changes to turn right. And these are the same people who put the “conduire a droite” sign on the airport road.

Next week – my top tips for you staying on your side of the goddammed road.
[tags]Roundabouts, Sarsfield Road, Bandon Road[/tags]

AMS is really dropping the ball recently, isn’t he? How many years did it take him to finally decide to stop flogging a near-dead horse and put a bullet in the em@iler? Was no-one in the company strong enough to tell him it was the best product to come out of a British company since The Royal Carriage and Wagon company decided to compete against the Ford Model T with their new Shetland model, now with automatic pooh collection.

But then what does he do? He fires Karen in “The Apprentice”. Here we have a woman with a first class mind, a great team player, who can think on her feet and grab opportunities as they happen and what does the Guru do? He fires her instead of the nutcase or the insipid management consultant who regularly uses the phrase “brain-storm” and isn’t trying to be ironic.

I’d hire Karen in a second. Who wouldn’t want a lawyer who was bright, dynamic and easy on the eye? Our current lawyer is both bright and dynamic but I don’t think Kieran will ever look good with a neck scarf and some lippie.

It looks like Sugar is going for another journey(wo)man who won’t rock the boat or challenge him in any way.

That wrinkle-removing electrocuter they were trying to flog in the documentary on the guy who won last year was great entertainment. Who in their right mind would buy a Slendertone for your face? It is clearly targetted at the crazed insomnia crowd who get excited watching SellaVision and their special deals on “Genuine Faux Pearls”.

The team in Brentwood are still locked in the 1970′s Amstrad mind-set of “well it may be naff, but we’ll give you six for a fiver”. We all loved their twin-tape recorders and even their genius twin-deck VCR. The home computers flattened Sinclair, their wordprocessors were perfectly timed and the first generation PCs weren’t that bad either.

But since 1992? Naffink!

I’m just waiting with bated breath for the AmsPOD. Bucking all current trends, this beauty will come in one colour; brown. It will play all the major sound formats: MP1, BBD, KindaRealAudio. It will come with a swish leatherette case (including free cubic zirconium inserts) and will be available from all major outlets on Tottenham Court Road.

But as long as they hold on to Syed and Jo for their pure entertainment value, I’ll keep watching and bitching.

[tags]The Apprentice, Alan Sugar, AmsPOD, Sinclair C5[/tags]